Have you ever heard the statement on how success is the only thing that truly matters? Have you thought just how wrong that sentence is? The one thing everybody begins to learn early on is that only gaining success increases the person’s value in the world. Of course, success and value are connected, just not the only ones trying to build people into those characters with spines of steel. Please own the important understanding that your growth only happens as a consequence of your struggles and your failures. Often the funny irony is that we focus only in reaching one’s goal that is success and hardly on the path we walk on towards the goal called success. Oh, I say it is funny because we make fools of ourselves when we only constantly look to gain the goal of success. Ironical because we forget to live and learn in the opportunity presented to us.
That understanding of the purpose of your experience is the meaning of being successful. What the learning part of any situation is that which instigates your personal growth. In putting your greatest efforts possibly lies the only truth. That alone is yours to control.
Great many people get lost in pursuit of this goal of success. They miss out on their growth in the process.
They often get caught up in the visible signs of success. These could be something as small as a gift received or a nice fat raise or that prize won.
Instead finding joy and peace and a sense of fulfilment are the indicators of success that we should focus on.
Just think of the umpteen times we have all heard parents; teachers perhaps even random adults compare marks obtained in a subject of two children even if they were as diverse as the table and a cycle.
Very often these narratives acquire a personality and life of its own. They then get children to believe and control their thoughts and even life. In time success overtakes effort as the only focus.
This choice has big consequences. Efforts often lack deep commitment. How soon can I become successful becomes the one and only thought guiding your actions.
Often you really lose in the long term.
When you do your best you give some part of yourself too and that leads to it becoming meaningful to you in a personal way. The outcome loses its relevance as the singular goal.
Perhaps one of the greatest examples of effort having an impact and proving more important than success is of how Nelson Mandela inspired his countrymen to continue fighting apartheid even though he was in prison. Throughout the 27 years of imprisonment with no sign of success, he continued to stand by his belief and fought to free his nation. Success was never about becoming President but about continuing the fight. In my own life the goal of learning to type was only to communicate and just persevering consistently to get my thoughts out to other people. My idea of success was not a big one but just simply being able to share my ideas and opinions with people who care for me. So, the experience and the effort mattered the most. You never forget what you learn through the act of putting in effort. It becomes part of who you grow into.
Perhaps we need to redefine what success looks like. The easiest way is to not reserve all the appreciation and rewards for only when a goal is reached. Every effort even if it doesn’t result in anything positive needs to be appreciated. The focus should be on defining success as every effort made. Though, it may not take one forward but, just having put in the effort should mean it is success in some way.
Having people look at effort more respectfully I think would lead to a shift in how people stay committed. If schools could choose to not highlight only the students who have got good academic achievements or won medals in a sport but instead celebrate how each student has grown in various aspects lots could change.
Such a different place this world would be if only we focused our effort on just doing our best instead of focusing on that prize which is seen as your only chance to be called successful. Likely that people would remember you longer for your hard work, your resilience and your character compared to your brief fame if you won the prize.
Avaz Megaphone is a platform for neurodivergent individuals to express themselves through the written word. We accept opinion pieces, short stories and poetry. Authors of accepted works will receive an honorarium. To make a submission please email us on: collaborate@avazapp.com
WRITTEN BY
Tarun Paul Mathew
Student & Writer
Tarun Paul Mathew is a 20-year-old non-speaking autistic adult from Kochi, India who types to communicate. He is a passionate advocate for the non-speaking autistic community, co-hosts the podcast For What It Tells, and enjoys music, mathematics, and nature. Tarun blogs at tryingtobemetoo.blogspot
He can be reached on Instagram at: happy_maverick_tarun
Listen to his podcast, For What It Tells, on Spotify.
